Return to school

Decided to start finding back myself, the best way is to visit my alma mater.

The start of IX, every friday I spend my afternoon time here, dancing with them..

 

 

Was bored, drew this in class :/

 I finally spend the evening catching up with my friends in a cafe.. and then driving over to someone's house to talk more about matters close to the heart. Just serious talks in between.. It was calm, we exchanged stories, share views, and just let it out.. In the process I realize,

that I really miss you a lot..

I miss you like crazy..

Though it's barely a week, 

time slows down so much, and it felt like a month..

I was constantly shoving my phone into my bag,

because I know I'd lose myself over some music and wanna text you..

And then get reminded, that I'm a burden to face up to..

that it's a chore replying me..

that you can't tolerate me..

or that I make things hard for you..

I'd take out my phone every now and then,

I'd reactivate my account, and deactivate it, only to reactivate it 5 hours later,

and then deactivate it again..

but I hold back, because your words.. your will,

really did reach out to me..

I know I can't reach out to you.

You probably can't and won't reply, even if I do..

I had to remove myself from facebook, 

because seeing how you have seemingly moved on,

and forgotten about me.. makes me sad.

My head hurts, and I can't breath every time I see it.. 

I'm like a dream..

I've been told that alcohol make things better,

but I do not intend to forget my vow..

I'm sure listening to songs would help me better..

talking it out would help me face my fears

time, will heal my scars..

and after a night of crying, perhaps I'll be stronger the next day..

I gave them a good dusting, and clear some things off..

I realize I can't wear the ring alone..

Like the vow, I intend to keep my promise..

Our promise,

even if you don't want me anymore, 

I'll still be there..

even if you despise me, find me disgusting..

I'll endure..

even if you insult me, 

I'll stay there, so that in any case..

you need me to listen to your heart..

I'll gladly hear you out, and lend you my shoulder..

Nowadays, the feeling of nausea seems to be occuring more frequently..

Probably my problems from the 2010 days are returning..