The things u said make sense..
I understand,therefore I'm at peace.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
The blooming flower of hate
Its been awhile since I blogged. My previous post were all pretty much lovey dovey. But here is where its about to get rather serious.
Before I proceed to discuss about the 2 scenarios,let me put them up 1st :
Scenario #1 (Part A)
Person X joined a sports club at school. He is to represent his group at a competition the next day.
Person X : Hey,I'm kinda tired of this already. Lost interest,wanna take over for me tomorrow at the competition?
Person Y : Sure thing. Alright then.
So with that said,person Y is now competing on behalf of person X. But who will get the certificate of participation? Person Y of course.
(Part B)
After thinking twice about it,person X suddenly wants his place back in the tourney.
The question : How do u resolve this small problem? Another thing to note,is that person Y has been kicked out time and again by numerous other sports club. He is also eager to hold onto the place that you have gave him. How would you tell him properly that you changed your mind?
Scenario #2
I had a talk quite sometime back with my mum. It was about 'giving and taking' in life. How to forgive and move on (Amazingly she preached this a lot to me but I somehow don't see it implemented in this scenario)
We were talking about my bro's performance at school,and that he needed some support and trust from both parents to push him further. Unfortunately,my bro has a pretty bad history of playing truant from school. He hangs out at the nearby cyber cafe a lot.
With that said,my parents both lost trust in him and resorted to using harsh words and pressure to thrust him into studying for his future.
The question : Why can't you trust your sons? After all,we ARE your sons.
She insisted that once she has been lied to,she can never bring herself to trust that person. She would hold a personal vendetta against that person. So I whispered to myself : I'd rather not die a vengeful person. I don't need 2 extra luggages called Vengeance and Hatred.
She then proceed to say that she is that way. Unable to let it go,her trust in that person forever crumbled. I was surprised..and shock. What happen to letting things go,and forgiving? How bout moving on? I don't mean to sound rude or disrespectful,but in my head I formulated that the biggest hypocrites in the world somehow appear to be the people next to me. The preached about "A",but do not act or follow according to that thought.
==============================
In the 1st scenario,the Person X,happen to be my bro. Person Y happen to my bro's friend. They knew each other since primary school but became distant as they went onto middle school. Personality wise,Person Y is kinda like the Eugene I knew in Highschool...but worst.
I casually asked my bro,"So..do u think Person Y is a vengeful person? I mean,considering he has been booted from so many sports club..maybe he kinda lost it up there already and might run amok?"
My dad proceeded to flush his thoughts right our way. He said : "Just tell him in the face. Theres not need to care bout some crazy boy like him,let him bark all he wants. This is life. In reality u have to be selfish to survive. If u win the competition,you'll get a cert which will help u in applying for University."
Before I proceed to discuss about the 2 scenarios,let me put them up 1st :
Scenario #1 (Part A)
Person X joined a sports club at school. He is to represent his group at a competition the next day.
Unfortunately,things happen.
Person X : Hey,I'm kinda tired of this already. Lost interest,wanna take over for me tomorrow at the competition?
Person Y : Sure thing. Alright then.
So with that said,person Y is now competing on behalf of person X. But who will get the certificate of participation? Person Y of course.
(Part B)
After thinking twice about it,person X suddenly wants his place back in the tourney.
The question : How do u resolve this small problem? Another thing to note,is that person Y has been kicked out time and again by numerous other sports club. He is also eager to hold onto the place that you have gave him. How would you tell him properly that you changed your mind?
Scenario #2
I had a talk quite sometime back with my mum. It was about 'giving and taking' in life. How to forgive and move on (Amazingly she preached this a lot to me but I somehow don't see it implemented in this scenario)
We were talking about my bro's performance at school,and that he needed some support and trust from both parents to push him further. Unfortunately,my bro has a pretty bad history of playing truant from school. He hangs out at the nearby cyber cafe a lot.
With that said,my parents both lost trust in him and resorted to using harsh words and pressure to thrust him into studying for his future.
The question : Why can't you trust your sons? After all,we ARE your sons.
She insisted that once she has been lied to,she can never bring herself to trust that person. She would hold a personal vendetta against that person. So I whispered to myself : I'd rather not die a vengeful person. I don't need 2 extra luggages called Vengeance and Hatred.
She then proceed to say that she is that way. Unable to let it go,her trust in that person forever crumbled. I was surprised..and shock. What happen to letting things go,and forgiving? How bout moving on? I don't mean to sound rude or disrespectful,but in my head I formulated that the biggest hypocrites in the world somehow appear to be the people next to me. The preached about "A",but do not act or follow according to that thought.
==============================
In the 1st scenario,the Person X,happen to be my bro. Person Y happen to my bro's friend. They knew each other since primary school but became distant as they went onto middle school. Personality wise,Person Y is kinda like the Eugene I knew in Highschool...but worst.
I casually asked my bro,"So..do u think Person Y is a vengeful person? I mean,considering he has been booted from so many sports club..maybe he kinda lost it up there already and might run amok?"
My dad proceeded to flush his thoughts right our way. He said : "Just tell him in the face. Theres not need to care bout some crazy boy like him,let him bark all he wants. This is life. In reality u have to be selfish to survive. If u win the competition,you'll get a cert which will help u in applying for University."
I was utterly disgusted..
Yes..u read it right.
I'm totally disgusted by what he just said.
To make things funnier,my mum second his opinion
Now I'm flabbergasted.
Knowing that my question became deviated already,I insisted that all I asked was : Will Person Y take it personally on you? Is he the type to remain vengeful?"
But NO~ My dad insisted that my question was whether his other son shud retain the position or hand it to his friend. Conversation fail much.
They then proceed to barrage me with THIS IS LIFE. REALITY IS HARSH. BE SELFISH. NEVERMIND JUST TELL YOU WANT THE PLACE BACK.
I remained silent till we reached home where I spoke to my bro privately.
"You know..what he just said is wrong right?" I asked. He nodded and answered yeah. I told him,no matter how terrible that person is,you have to treat him with a tiny bit of respect. Retain what little of humanity,morality and politeness u have in you. And try to resolve this peacefully.
"If u were to tell him off like what Dad said,u will only fan the flames of anger and hatred." No one likes to be told off like that. Especially since you mentioned that he can have the position and suddenly want it back. Some people are not keen with letting it go. And the feeling of being let down and disappointed can be very heart wrenching.
I proceeded to talk about social skills,while driving him to tuition. "Theres a level in social skills that I think Dad will qualify,and thats about up to the standard u need to chat up ur workmates in a Bar or Pub." My brother proceeded to laugh. Its true.
Considering our family history,my Dad has always been at odds with others. He nearly bashed our ex-neighbour with a stick because he parked infront of our house. He fought a psychological and silent war with the neighbours opposite because they love singing Karaoke. He fought wars on the road when the other drivers cut into his lane. He fought for me at school because I was bullied. And it was because I followed his ways instead of reasoning with myself,that I breed hatred between me and another boy through out my primary to highschool life..
So you see,thats not the only way to resolve it. With my example said,I think its more than sufficient to say that his social skills in reasoning will only breed more trouble. So I adviced my bro to not adapt it.
Before letting him off,I proceed to tell him one more bit...
No one likes being talked to in that manner. Its crucial in life to be humble,polite and retain whatever moral values u have and practice it. Telling someone off isn't the way. Especially since you already handed your position in the competition to another person. That position is no longer yours.
So if you want it back,its gonna take more than "Hey! Thats my place before this,so give it back to me." This sort of manners when interacting will only bring more trouble and infuriate the other person. Expecially taking into account that Person Y has a very childish personality,its even more crucial that we handle this properly and politely.
I'm not sure how will things play out,But I'm pretty sure it'll be fine.
As long as my bro remains polite when solving this problem..
Till then~
Yes..u read it right.
I'm totally disgusted by what he just said.
To make things funnier,my mum second his opinion
Now I'm flabbergasted.
Knowing that my question became deviated already,I insisted that all I asked was : Will Person Y take it personally on you? Is he the type to remain vengeful?"
But NO~ My dad insisted that my question was whether his other son shud retain the position or hand it to his friend. Conversation fail much.
They then proceed to barrage me with THIS IS LIFE. REALITY IS HARSH. BE SELFISH. NEVERMIND JUST TELL YOU WANT THE PLACE BACK.
I remained silent till we reached home where I spoke to my bro privately.
"You know..what he just said is wrong right?" I asked. He nodded and answered yeah. I told him,no matter how terrible that person is,you have to treat him with a tiny bit of respect. Retain what little of humanity,morality and politeness u have in you. And try to resolve this peacefully.
"If u were to tell him off like what Dad said,u will only fan the flames of anger and hatred." No one likes to be told off like that. Especially since you mentioned that he can have the position and suddenly want it back. Some people are not keen with letting it go. And the feeling of being let down and disappointed can be very heart wrenching.
I proceeded to talk about social skills,while driving him to tuition. "Theres a level in social skills that I think Dad will qualify,and thats about up to the standard u need to chat up ur workmates in a Bar or Pub." My brother proceeded to laugh. Its true.
Considering our family history,my Dad has always been at odds with others. He nearly bashed our ex-neighbour with a stick because he parked infront of our house. He fought a psychological and silent war with the neighbours opposite because they love singing Karaoke. He fought wars on the road when the other drivers cut into his lane. He fought for me at school because I was bullied. And it was because I followed his ways instead of reasoning with myself,that I breed hatred between me and another boy through out my primary to highschool life..
So you see,thats not the only way to resolve it. With my example said,I think its more than sufficient to say that his social skills in reasoning will only breed more trouble. So I adviced my bro to not adapt it.
Before letting him off,I proceed to tell him one more bit...
No one likes being talked to in that manner. Its crucial in life to be humble,polite and retain whatever moral values u have and practice it. Telling someone off isn't the way. Especially since you already handed your position in the competition to another person. That position is no longer yours.
So if you want it back,its gonna take more than "Hey! Thats my place before this,so give it back to me." This sort of manners when interacting will only bring more trouble and infuriate the other person. Expecially taking into account that Person Y has a very childish personality,its even more crucial that we handle this properly and politely.
I'm not sure how will things play out,But I'm pretty sure it'll be fine.
As long as my bro remains polite when solving this problem..
Till then~
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