Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Zips

Kanji Zips

作詞: 井上秋緒 作曲: 浅倉大介

闇雲に怖れ 膝を抱く
違うでしょ? そこは笑うトコロ
流されりゃ 優しいこの街も
欲をかけば ポイと捨てられる

自分一人が 降りたくないと
渇く思い 撃ち込んで

手強い夜に 君が本気で
始めてるゲームは何?

今にも飛び抜ける
駆ける想いはダテじゃない
究極とか云っちゃう程の
イキ方と超え方が

もっと先まで見たいんだ
君とこのまま同化して
疾走する熱と痛さが
欲しいだけ欲しくなる

「止まらないこと」が 暴走ならば
したことないヤツは いないんでしょう?

欲望も傷も 我慢できない
見せしめなら ボクがなってやろう

冷たい舌を 吸い合うように
脆い場所に 踏み込んで

知らない内に 溺れたみたい
奥ほど感じる夢に

誰にも届かない
駆ける想いはキリがない
愛してく速さと自由に
一切の距離はなくなって

世界が抱きとめる
君とボクとのいる意味を
消え入るような光の跡
どこまでも追い詰めろ

その先見せてくれ
駆ける想いはダテじゃない
究極とか云っちゃう程の
イキ方と超え方が

もっと最初のものになれ
君とこのままどーかして
疾走する熱と痛さが
欲しいだけ欲しくなる



By T.M. Revolution



*Bloom*

The die,cast
Time ticks past
Moving on fast
That era was last.

In came summer
All warm and comfy
Out went a flower
Blooming and lovely.

In came harsh rain
Trickling with pain
For there was none,gain
It remained still,sane.

Its scars worn
Hopes yet,torn
For there's none to mourn
It refused to be gone.

Care and love shown
The beauty all grown
For it stands alone
Waiting for the throne.

The future to be given
The present is fine
The past forgiven
The flower shall shine

The flower shall shine..

Will it..? Hmm....

Till then,

Fang Kai

As much as how this title amuses me,it is named after my fren who "pawned" the day away.
Lol.I'll begin my story telling now then~ =D

Today we were suppose to perform for a BIG event.

It was China's 60th Anniversary of independence and Msia and China had a good 35 years worth of frenly relationship.

So for that,we were included in the small list of performers lined up to entertain our VIP "guests" as they enjoy their WONDERFUL dinner.

Among those that joined the performing crew are : Gary *The 8TV guy*,china people,more china people..AND more china people. =P We arrived around 1++ pm and waited for our turn to rehearse.We only went up around 4.45pm -____-

So while waiting of course we did silly things,like fooling around and tell jokes.LOL.Kimchi-imneeda being one of em.
We even met a former "XXX" dance crew member *His identity is protected as Im sure he wouldnt like his name spread across here* who showed us the correct ways to "Lock","Pop" and dance with animation.We practically traded lines and discussed dancing.

Then came the dance.It went well for me and we kinda did mistakes *As usual*.But everything is alright in the end. ;]

The vid is still with the techinician there as they recorded it.The fire effect was awesome and u could seriously feel the heat when the fire ball puffed in the air.The lighting was awesome and for once we felt like we are performing in a REAL concert. :D
Crowd response is good.Haha,I'll leave the details of our dance out and move on to the pics.

From my eyes



Our new found fren,I wouldn't refer to him as "sifu".
Im sure he doesnt want his frens glorifying him like that.
So we'll keep our frenship close and less formal that way =D



This pic shud be named : FANG KAI'S MUM! LOOK AT UR SON! *lol pun intended ;] *
She was the MC for the night whom Fang Kai said looked old initially. *Apparently he changed his mind after seeing her in a open backed cheongsam*
Look what happen after the dance,he asked for a pic with her.lol
I'll leave out the "details" when the pic was taken =P



The boys while waiting for our turn to rehearse.



Brian,the emo guy.Got 2 girls asked for his number d. *For dance purposes la*=X
And we were booked for next year's celebration performance. =D



The new SCANDAL!
Brian was dumped by Fang Kai.
The new couple is Tony and Fang Kai! =P



Poser poser poser poser~
*Sing with Sorry Sorry tune*



BONUS ROUND!
Spot what that woman is doing,then tell me via the comments section

PS. She was caught doing "it" during the red light,then flicking "it" at the window.
Mins later,she was still doing "it" when our car catched up with her.
=O

The question : WHAT IS "IT" !?
lol



Till then,
Micky

Stay tune for our Sorry Sorry China Anniversary SPECIAL edition on facebook. :D
*Quality isnt that good cuz one of our frens used his hp to record it,the better version will be out soon ^^ *

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Gundam vs Gundam NEXT PLUS *Update 2*

Since the Game Expo 2009 held in Japan kicked off on Friday,I've managed to get a more detailed view of this game scheduled for release on 3rd dec 2009.

Gundam 00 Raiser's moves and victory pose was revealed here too.It looks like a decent 3K cost suit with moves similiar but different in certain aspects compared to Exia.Some say there are 4 more suits to go as additionaly unlock.

And finally for those of u wondering wth is Trans-AM,Gundam 00 Raiser or Reborns Gundam OR Gundam 00 like,here's ur chance to catch a scene with all the said elements included.

Reborns Gundam and Nataku have yet to be unlocked.The only playable extras are Wing 0 Custom and 00 Raiser.

MGS Peacewalker was also given a spotlight of its own during TGS 2009.
The gameplay and HUD have pretty much change in favor of MGS4.More hunky guys with big guns and more machines that look like coffee saucers. =P

Hoping for more updates.

Till then.. :)

Saturday, September 26, 2009

When the star says yes to the moon...

To IX,sorry I wasnt able to attend the practice on Sat for our upcoming performance. =/
I was away at Penang to attend my cousin's wedding dinner.lol


Here are some pics using my *Lousy* 3.2 megapixel camera phone



A photo given at the dinner reception table
My cousin Tian Huat and his bride Siew Ling



My cousin looks awesome la,hate to admit it. LOL
The couple look tired after being up as early as 5am+ i think..



My cousin sis in blue and her husband in black to the right.
They both got married not too long ago.
My cousin bro at the far end of the pic was the last to get married.
My uncle was EXTREMELY happy *maybe cuz both son and daughter already kahwin =X*



The only regret I have for that night was listening to this guy sing on stage ><
His english is seriously...bad ._.

Lines like :
Schweeet
I luv chu
Taaaach my shoul *Touch my soul*
And arsh me *Ask me*

were constantly spouted out over the mic.

Naturally my bro and I juz grin at each other holding in the laughter.Occasionally punching one another to release all that laugter in us =P



My cousin dated his wife since they were both in college.
She's Singaporean. =D
They look awkward when my *drunk* Uncles and Aunties kept telling them to bring kids to this world for their parents.lol..



I saw this sign while walking in Penang.
"Why are u short? Not growing fast?
Foot bracing can do to improve ur growth"

O_O..
I was seriously tempted to try.
But I learned sumthing though,height isnt that important if ur partner appreciates u.
Frankly speaking,my cousin's wife though slim is taller than him.kekekeke..LOL =X



The Apom/pancake that we had in Penang.
Been going here to have them since I was small. :]



The market area selling the wantan mee.
Its the best la.And its unique too =D
I have been coming here for the apom and noodles since I was small



I saw this while walking in the market.It was caught napping outside my Uncle's stall.
LOL *wat the heck..*

Bro : I dare u to touch its paw.
Me : What are u talking bout?
Bro : That guy in the basket there!
Me : HOLY.. Im taking a pic of this ;)



Delicious pancake outside the market.
There's even a newspaper article on it -_-



More pic of our breakfast



My mum caught "stealing" from the fried food stall. =P
This one sells fried potatoes,yam and carrots =/



Famous cendol stall near the Famous laksa place.
Got a lot of Guai Lou seen eating our local treats there.
I drank some juice that tasted like grinded grass after my aunt said my skin is terrible :(



Famous char kuay teow in the famous laksa's shop and right next to the famous cendol stall.
=P
All also famous la,all also got tons of newspaper cutting on them.



Kuay teow soup with duck meat
*Which ever way u spell it is none of my business la,frankly me and my bro spend all day laughing at their spellings sumtimes*



I had a 2nd serving of the fried kuay teow with some root beer.
Lol IX will rmb me drinking that most of the time =P
Look at the size of that prawn!
Seriously gotta exercise la after this,I gain weight easily :(



The said famous laksa.

Note pasted in the restaurant :
Extra 50cents service charge if any food is served inside here.

No wonder the Guai Lous were willing to stand outside the cendol stall and eat.Lmao.
All also sama sama cheapskate la =P

**************

Alright,time for a little emo reflective part. *I always do that if u've noticed*

I have been to many wedding dinner,but never really paid attention to them in terms of abstract thinking.I was very young back then and the only thing me and my bro did there was laugh at how my uncles and aunties would get drunk OR how X Auntie look like an eggroll in that dress *Lol,good times la.I know Im such a jackass =P* I dun really bother wondering bout what marriage is,the preparations involved and so on.

But after yday,I begun thinking bout how it'd be like for me.LOL,I know la,sounds gay but yeah..im thinking. =/
All the preparation involved for both bride and groom,the traditional process and how the kids would have to jump on ur bed *some chinese blieve i think* made my mind juz wonder off.

And yeah,some of my uncles and aunties were whispering to my parents asking bout my apparent "love life" *I can hear it la,u drunko~ -___- * There's NOTHING GOING ON,MATES.

One of them said I look like "ah boy".My dad's elder sis calls him "ah boy" despite my dad reaching 55 soon.
*LOL at the line
"Ah boy come and eat!" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*

But frankly I hate it when ppl say I look like my dad.Yeah,there's a reason but I juz hate it.
Im glad my dad didnt drink too much and go crazy like the rest,he didnt even drink in fact.
Some dude puked right infront of me and my bro after we left the toilet.He was 3 steps away from the toilet basin -_____-
And another of the groom's friend was seen yelling around in the hotel lobby. ._.

Yday made me open my mind a little,haha.A least I give a SLIGHT damn now bout weddings.
But hey,Im juz gonna enjoy what I have now.Thats gonna come later for me =P

And yeah,pls...no puking and swearing at my wedding ya? lol ;)

Till then,
Micky



Friday, September 25, 2009

I.G.N.I.T.I.O.N - X exposed!!! =P


The events that you are about to witness took place in Genting,Jln Sentul where we had our dance rehearsal and a nearby CC

The Pictures
(Explanation will be done later)

Part 1 : The HIDDEN scandal!!!!!



Latest scandal : Brian and Fang Kai DATING!?
A group of journalist and photographer crew chased the 2 IX stars all the way to Genting upon receiving hints from the local people.Upon arriving there,we caught them...STARING AT 1 ANOTHER!! =O



The 2 dancers decided to wave at the cameraman.
The group of journalist consisting of me and Wei Jian then chased them one big round around the indoor theme park before meeting them again for more shots.



Fang Kai was caught answering a phone call while Brian takes a nap.LOL,they were posing on the 2 dinosaurs.



Tired from snapping only Brian and Fang Kai,the photographer decided to use his LOUSY 3.2 megapix phone camera and snap what appears to be a similiar scene from B.O.F *The macau scene..lol*



Too bad the guy behind the boat did not sing,unlike in the show.I bet his plastic teeth must've frozen due to the extremely cold weather. =P



Fang Kai : Dilarang memotong kepala di sini
Brian,Wei Jian and Me : LOL!!!



Fang Kai on the way down hill.



Wei Jian's dog,Fluffy.
Fang Kai imitating the dog's pose while Brian being the thief ><



More Fang Kai sleeping.
I snapped him sleeping.Is he smilling?
Must be a SWEET dream about Jessica or Seohyun =X



The awesome triples sleeping after a night of madness.
Wei Jian,Fang Kai and Nicky.
Note : Normal people sleep beneath the blanket.
Fang Kai sleeps above them =P



The map to the convention centre for the next performance,this coming tuesday.
Keep ur eyes peeled! We got new stuff coming up ;]

*ps,the Fang Kai and Brian scandal was meant to be a joke to amuse the reader and blogger himself.Dun take it too seriously ya?lol*

************************
23th Sep
IX planned to go to Genting to "relax" and come down to KL on the 25th for rehearsal at Jln Sentul.Lol sadly Ian said its last min and Pang Yean got work.So its me,Wei Jian and Brian.

24th Sep
Packed my stuff and got ready.Haha,Hui Ling wanted to come and kick ass but sadly she didnt make it. =(
Left at 7+++ pm and went to some eatery at Genting's foot.Brian's dad is very nice and he kept stuffing me and Wei Jian with food. *Especially that FISH! Totally took all the space in my stomach* Left after dinner.On the way Brian,Nicky and Wei Jian took my PSP and started abusing it by playing Gundam vs Gundam -___-
I of course sat alone behind and listened to mp3 while keeping my "fingers busy".Lol

Reached around 11+ and went to meet Fang Kai after dropping our stuff.We did :

1)Went to grab the "tickets" from Fang Kai's room.
Fang Kai told us,he was in Starbucks this afternoon when he saw the entrance wrist band on the floor and everywhere.Being Fang Kai,he picked them up and wash them.He then gave it to us that night and we tried our luck by faking our way in to get FREE rides. =X

Typical la,cuz of my height,IX gave me a CHILD entrance ticket *WTF!?* >_< style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 204, 0);"> *Seriously...wth man...haha*
The boys went on a ride going around the indoor complex while me and Wei Jian chased them around snapping pics.

2)We played arcade games.Of course,its IX.Arcade is sumhow fused in the letters IX.
Hehe,despite using a spoiled gun,I owned IX in shooting. *Take that,u adults! =/ *
We fooled around in the arcade la,juz took some balls and threw them into the basketball hoop.
One nearly hit me -____- Guess who threw it? lol

We also played this ridiculous game where u throw coloured plastic balls at the screen to hit enemies.It turns out,we were the enemy as the ball kept richocheting towards us.LOL.

3)Went to buy a drink.Chose Mc D cuz it was refillable.I bought a cup for rm4.15 and we took turns drinking.We came back for refills so damn many times -__-

4)Finally bought cup noodles and went to camp in the hotel room.
We were using the hot water while sharing "stories".Once done,we ate cup noodles and played the PSP,watched Girls Generation on Intimate Note and slept =D

25th Sep
Went for raptai.It went well.Shall blog about our new changes to Sorry Sorry next time.Meanwhile stay tune for the performance next Tuesday night and vids. =)

Played CS : CZ before going back in a local CC.
Notes after observing my frens playing :

1)Never play using real names."Sensitive names" will start coming up. *Cough michelle and.. cough cough*

2)Fang Kai is plain funny larhh.

"He chased Pang Yean on the roof with a knife only to be lead to a dead end.Pang Yean turn left revealing a dead end right before Fang Kai's face on cs_assault.

Guess what happened.. Haha,Fang Kai fell plunging to his death from the roof.
It was freaking funny and all of us laughed."

3)I rock at CS la =X Haha,its a joke -__-

Gonna get some sleep,more 2 blog about our latest performance next time

Till then,
Micky

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Owned!

Owned!
Stupid IX decided to change their names after playing CS : CZ and realising my apparent "soft spot" for sensitive names *cough cough cough*



Lol,Kevang killer killed Kevang with a headshot.. >< Sorry ya..it wasnt meant to be a serious thing =/



kevang killed Sheeep with headshot from ak47.LOL
sheep killer~


Lol,sadly I dun really care.Though seeing a terrorist named kevang was a bit er....Distracting.

Sadly,I still pulled the trigger. =P
*Headshot!*

Stupid Ian stopped me when I wanted to change my name to Michelle Yu
=P

I wasnt the one who started the funny names la -_____-

Ampun ya? Whoever that felt disturbed by our little pranks fooling around with names.

Till then,
I'll be going to Genting 2moro night with IX

*Gonna snap more shots of people sleeping hehehe~ *

Monday, September 21, 2009

Another Gundam vs Gundam NEXT PLUS Update

Gundam vs Gundam NEXT PLUS
Updates

Famitsu magazine released a set of in game scans revealing the sexy Gundam 00 Raiser,and more shots of Wing Gundam 0 Custom.




The front cover of the Special GvG NEXT PLUS section covered by Famitsu Magazine
It describes the history of Gundam starting from 1979 till 2009,a magnificient journey of 30 years! =D



The special PLUS Mode features a storyline and the gameplay pretty much goes like chess.U can move ur "mothership" along the board and engage missions which are important to secure ur victory.The pilots come with Level and experience points can be used to Level up ur character.



The page covering Gundam SEED and DESTINY.It even comes with a table explaining the chronological events leading till GS : Destiny.The next page covers Turn A Gundam too.



Unicorn Gundam from Gundam UC,Reborns Gundam and Gundam 00 Raiser.
Reborns comes with Reborns Cannon intact for far range fire while Gundam 00 Raiser can quantize itself during Trans-AM burst. =O



The original Gundam series.Classic mobile suits like the Gundam,Guntank and Guncannon will all be available for play too.Up to a total of 65 MS are available for battle. :D



My favourite of them all,the Z Gundam was also given its own page and was also the highlight along side the Hyakushiki and Qubeley.The next page features ALEX from Mobile Suit Gundam 0080 : War in the Pocket.



V Gundam,Gundam F-91,Gundam Char's Counter Attack and Gundam ZZ too had their share of the spotlight.



Wing Zero and The Wing Gundam era MS,for their fanboys to drool over. =P
G Gundam and Gundam X too were available in the screenshots.



This game consist of an arcade mode,a story mode,quick versus and is playable up to 4 players.However I feel they have pretty much abandon the number of arcade routes playable.

The routes called "Course" this time are available from A-H,a total of 8 Courses to play from.Which is pretty much less than what we got from the prequel.Then again the game is not out yet,too early to conclude.

And the boss fights in game already pretty much make up for that loss. =D


Here's hoping for that game to turn up well on the 3rd of Dec

Cheers to u Gundam! And Happy 30th Anniversary!
:)

Updates updates~


The chronology of my Hairstyle D:

R.I.P My Hair
19th June - 21st September '09

Was abused by Hui Ling
Rest in peace now buddy =P

Present hairstyle =/
aka Pineapple.When I dun put gel,it becomes a BOB CUT!!! *SCREAMS*
Yeah,the indian guy gave me a bob cut.Rmb how IX used to talk bout me in Taemin's Replay hairstyle?Now u got it :[



The er...HAIRBALL hairstyle.
Its just basically a reshaped version of the hairstyle from beneath.
P.s. Hui Ling stop pulling it!!! TT_TT


The FOREST hairstyle
Hair completely in a mess and VERY VERY LONG
Note the smile on my face,its much wider than above :D
Great times..my hair pretty much became a helmet already.lol,Can ride bike and motorcycle without helmet d.


*UPDATE 1*
Yes pips.I went for a haircut while fixing my GODDAMN LOCKED PHONE.I locked it by ACCIDENT.DUN LAUGH! >_<
*UPDATE 2*
I was fiddeling with the access code while watching Gundam 00.Got climatic fight scene mah.So my eyes were glued to it while pressing ******.Then suddenly,Access Denied.Cant unlock it already.That caused me RM30.

And my fren got a call from the phone repair guy.Apparently he took a number from my phone and called. ._. Hmmm....

*UPDATE 3*
Very disturbing and might cause discomfort among readers

Make sure :
1)Ur above 18 =P
2)Ur fit and can take it
3)U dun feel uneasy after any sort of disturbing scenes


K....here it goes.I had a dream..Not those "sort" of dream =_= Neither is it those "type" of dream too. =P

"I dreamt I was running in a mall.Dunno what mall la.Juz some mall.And someone was next to me running too. 1)Long hair 2)Female appearance *Checked! hehe* 3)Running fast
I was running too la,dunno running for what..UNTIL.....

I saw a familiar shadow from behind.LOL.It was none other than Eugene chasing me ala Terminator 2.Rmb when that crazy robot chased the little boy and Arnie? Yeahhh,he was chasing me that way.

Right..so Im running in the mall with this girl and we finally reached a bus station.We juz hid and sat on some chair.While Eugene is probably figuring where we went,I realised im holding her hand -____-
Bla bla bla...then,the bus came and we went onboard and off we went.
"

The end? *No human being was harmed in the making of my dream* x)

That was seriously a weird dream la.And this girl,she got NO FACE.LOOOL.Either that or I cant recall it already.Hehe...or maybeeee.....? Maybeeeee....? IT WAS SUNNY!!! wahahaha,what were u expecting me to type? =P

Weird enough...I got 2 calls on that day before I went to bed *Surprise surprise*
And on that very night,I also finished playing Terminator on my Xbox.As for the girl....hmmm...
I was oogling at Sunny all day? lol,haha juz joking :)
Dun take it seriously -______-

Till then,
Micky

Friday, September 18, 2009

Freedom's Sword =D

Haha,this is gonna be a spam on the game I have been chasing after for 1/2 a year.

God granted my wish,and hence its for the PSP!!!

Haha,Gundam vs Gundam NEXT PLUS for the PSP,release date : 3rd Dec ;]

Looking forward to reclaiming the battlefield with Strike Freedom Gundam =D
After all,I had a lot of fond memories using Freedom Gundam and it's brother,Strike Freedom while playing the PS2 =)

******************************
NEXT PLUS Features :

4 new bonus mobile suits only for the PSP,Reborns Gundam,00 Raiser,Wing Gundam 0 Custom and Gundam Nataku
A story mode,called PLUS mode
Some altering to the game so that it fits the PSP with minimum lag
65 units to play,with Course A-H to choose from
Boss fights and amazing cutscenes

*****************************

Hehe...awesome S*** =D

The PSP official link is also up

And yeah,Im gonna get another hair cut.Right after Hui Ling kept mentioning my hair is too long,Im always hearing those words ringing in my head.Even when I went for a job interview,they were ringing >_<

Yeah,cut cut cut...cut till Gone ;]

Till then,
Micky



Monday, September 14, 2009

Bang.

*******************
Isn't it obvious?


I've been laughed at for still blieving.

But I'm still hanging on

U dun sound interested

Bye bye perhaps?
*************


Yeah,like it'll listen to me.
Bloody pulp of cardiac muscles insist on beating when I see u despite of these


I admit I was shy
Cuz it was the first outing
Perhaps u could've thought of sumthing to say too?
I was out of topics I sounded helpless


Why am I chasing ur shadow?I'm gonna hurt myself more that way.
I'm full of doubts,ur full of ur own problems too

I'll put them aside
farewell


If I still think about u by sunrise,I'll reconsider
But for now it doesnt seem to be working
U dun have to say it,ur actions would've mean a lot

Then again who am I to ask for this
I'm ntg but a small headed bastard,too sensitive and insensitive for his own good


I
cudnt juz possibly ask u to forget or lie
I'm no one but a fren
I dun have that power to say anything yet


I was juz trying to not get worked up.
It was shocking to see a shadow there that day..


Lie all u want,but its obvious to me until u prove otherwise


Till then
Im gonna be patient.I hope we can create new ones and purge the old shadows.. would u agree?
Live for the future...

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Drips of nectar on the very petals tempts even the most loyal of workers..

*Epilogue*
===========================

I'm not gonna mention specifically what happened last Sunday

Instead...Im gonna touch on the abstract of it.

The lessons learned..

The Light found at the end of this big abyss..

And most importantly....

The Lust for Power,to be recognised and acknowledged as strong...

and how this will can bend any friendship despite the strength our bonds hold us together..

==========================


*A common dream*
We had this talk before then.To pursue a common goal.To fight and show the best in each of us.
We dreamt of climbing the stairs towards recognition.Somehow,God gave man the voice and power to steer the hearts of others.When the voice is right and time is ripe,men like us now will stand on our 2 feet and begin challenging Fate itself.
One person's dream spread like wild fire and burnt with bravery among the hearts of these 8 boys.We too dream and it begin to take shape...our plan to be among top notch.

*The planning phase and initial doubts*
We met up at someone's hse to plan our strategy and concept.At the same time,one decided to question commitment once we've decided to pick up this fight.This one person would later question the urge to prove ourselves infront of others.He would continue to ask and think deeply...

Why do we need to be accepted as "skillful" by others?
Why can't we continue to do what we do.
Why are we easily stirred by comments made by others?
Why do we dream like that upon hearing comments from others that stimulate our mind to fight?

The day ended with us deciding to fight on.And that one boy who thought most about ideals and dreams was left to ponder whether his inner conscious is right..

*The initiation*
We begin physical planning.Outfits were done too.However one was too busy.Don't get me wrong,his other commitments were much more important.The boy once again reflects upon the meeting at the hse.For the words commitment have been swore upon.However he now doubts others.For the guy responsible did not turn up for practice.And slowly...this boy begun to wonder if dreams were meant to be dreams..

He raged for the fact that this person ignited everyone's passion to fight.Yet...he wasnt there when we neeeded him the most.He left us his dreams..and continued on to live his life.We were abandoned with the burdern to carry his dreams along side our own dreams on our back..

*Reflections upon the final hour*
Hours before the battle,the very same boy who wondered reflected back on his thoughts..
Why prove to be the best? Why sought to be recognised? Why do we seek other's recognition then are we satisfied?

And then he thought about the commitment he saw earlier...and how things were last minute.
Despite excuses saying its our tradition..I despised that fact.I hated it.I got angry with the fact that an event and dream this important received a last minute treatment.Why would u talk about dreams and being Number 1 when ur attitude is like this?!

It was bcuz words said thru the lust to be recognised penetrated the hard cold reality of life.For ur attitude and commitment did not match ur dream and mindset,I was angry at u.And u pushed the responsibilty to me too.I was angry when U asked me to perform stunts as if they come easy for me.I hated it and didnt want to do it.But was steered by ur will and pushed myself.I practiced in the middle of the night alone,amidst yelling by my parents cursing me crazy and obsessed.I practiced under the Sun all day while God witnessed my commitment.
And I aimed high depsite being injured at the back and leg.It was so painful I clenched my teeth and bit my lips walking.And yet I hate it when u neglected that feeling...

"My feelings for this frenship and concern for one another...was torn apart by this dream.This lust..this seduction...this goal...this aim....this devil brought about a lot of last minute effort which were unnecessary if we had planning months earlier."

Though we laughed and played that night...the fact that it ended at 12am was wrong.We were suppose to rest enuf before a fight.Not train till our last breath...this is the wrong approach for I've been in competitions this rough.I know we were meant to fail already..

*The final light...D day*
Before the battle...I forgotten my document.I was doubting the team's effort.For I questioned bout costumes.I felt inferior looking juz at others.1st impression matters and I have stressed that many times.

"SHUT UP!" was the word I heard.I was really heartbroken..coming from my fren whom I have known since late Form 2.He told me that.And was frustrated.I knew it.I was right..
But then I felt pain and wanted to let loose bcuz he was my fren.It hurt more than a knife thru ur skin,peeling the dermis layer bit by bit..

But I clenched my teeth.And held back.Keeping words to myself.Not gonna engage in a verbal argument anymore bcuz it was hours before our big fight infront of everyone.I didnt want to spoil our team spirit after coming this far.

And so it happened.And the messiah who witnessed our fight gave comments.Commitment,effort,planning,and our true nature were all exposed infront of the camera.Shamed and disgraced,we left.
The pain in my leg,the screaming that came from my back all left.Bcuz their comments were so painful,I felt no pain afterwards.Though smilling,we were breaking inside.I felt it a lot sinced I put my dreams,honor,impression and effort at stake.Only to loose the gamble...

But deep in me,I smilled.Call me a bastard.But only thru a harsh lesson did the 8 boys learned.Conquering this arena is not easy.Dun be little others thinking that they are weak.And most importantly,show commitment via ur heart and feelings before setting others ablaze with ur dreams.For we lacked proper preparation,many were let down by this feeling.It was a rough lesson meant to shun his lust aside.And I was juz glad I accompanied him and guided him along the learning process.I joined despite knowing I would loose...not bcuz I believed in a miracle.

But bcuz,I knew his dreams were too big.That lust and desire needs to be extinguished.We arent that good yet and the confidence we had really covered the harsh reality facing us.We arent that good yet! So I decided,rather than turn my back on u guys the night before the fight...I will accompany u and learn this harsh lesson together.

*Aftermath*
I saw 3 people's will inner voice.Mine...his...and his.While lectured about being selfless...I saw his inner voice.Albeit violent than usual,he made some sense but refused to acknowledged that I care for the group.The warnings on costume,prepapration,commitment and my emotions conveyed a message.We arent on the right track!

I felt pain and so did I hear from others.He refused to acknowledge that it was "our" pain.Claiming it was only me suffering from defeat,he continued to batter me on my emotions.I felt them with pride.I hope u understand.
Bcuz I poured effort,time,money,hopes and dreams and energy.I trained till night,suffered from injuries to my back and leg and still walked strongly infront of u all.I dun nid sympathy.I juz hope u realise the reason why I felt sadness.Bcuz Im human...my efforts were drained and I felt it thru my heart.Although it was an experience...I've had nightmares about it on the very same night.

Im staying away from competitions and dreams for now...I dun wanna see our group split bcuz of different idealogies and theories.Split bcuz of different musics and steps.Split bcuz of self ambitions and dreams...desires and lust.Yes...the boy who thought all the while,thinking and questioning was none other than me...

Please...stop this madness...

Till then,
Micky

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Is white pure..?

Before I begin : To my Dear brother..

"If u want to be jealous of me..fight for that right.U only have the rights to hate me when u beat me in studies.When u outshine me in books and when ur results are much better.Otherwise...dun pull me in ur bandwagon anymore.I dun wanna be involved in ur conflicts,for I was always there to listen.Till the day came when u felt I was being too much of a bother.Hate me,be jealous..but do that only when u've surpassed me.Otherwise accept ur fate that Im superior.Accept that I win this fight.Unless u buck up,u'll never leave my shadow that way..u poor ignorant bastard....
Im waiting to welcome ur victory with both hands and accept my defeat with joy.By this,I hope to have triggered ur urge to study and give u an aim to beat.Me...ur own brother.Grow up......"

Its been awhile since I really blogged about my life.Here's the summary : Enrolment for Med in IMU will be in Feb,gotta learn to drive *Im serious* and Im going back to Wushu.

After 2 years hiding,I finally decided to go back to it.My love for it unchanged.However my weapons all have aged with much respect.My spear rusted,and my 2 swords are ntg but brown pins with rough edges.Time to buy new weapons,when I have the time.I decided I couldnt run from the brutal fact that my squad was disband due to corruption within the Wushu Federation.Im gonna stop lying to myself about the fact that Wushu is hopeless in Selangor.I myself have the power to change it,not the other people who play for power and money,neither do I change it for those bastards.I change what Wushu means to me in my life..I can do that.

I decided to pick up fragments of my skill left from the trainee days and incorporate them into my dance as a stunman.Its my personal unique skill which others cant replicate within IX.Hence I decided to preserve this personal trait of mine.Im working on it guys,though it'd probably take time.I definitely cant recall all of my trainings in one day...but I hope to hear them coming back to me one by one.

Along with that change,I decided to cut my hair too..

Why am I so obsessed with leaving my hair long..?
Why am I so deviant in receiving a hair cut?

My hair much to no one's knowledge represents my own spirit.The will of my soul to struggle free from my Dad's shadow.For he hated it when I leave my hair long,I wanted to do it even more.My hair long was a sign of defiance to him...it showed my spirit dying to rebel against him in anyway possible.

But I was engulfed in hate and obsession not long after my return from Australia.I begun to sink deep into a pit full of humans' most unwanted emotions.Greed,Selfishness,Hate,Anger,Obsession and Jealousy circled around me and begun to slither up my head as I drown to determine whats wrong with me.I hate the one person that was a fren to me and was drowning in jealousy.I was angry over an individual who had a hard time telling me the biggest secret hidden.And later on,I became obsessed with the fact that Im correct.

For my hair grew longer,I learned to hide myself behind the long fringes.I watched everything with a vengeful eye from behind the comfort of my front fringe.I became the person I hated the most...someone who schemes and have evil intentions.I liked the comfort I gained when I cover my eyes with hair.No one could see my eyes well and neither could I see the world.I had no interest in the World for I had problems within myself.Doubting people and choosing the right words.

Finally...it ended yday.I found out I had doubted him for no reason.I felt like a fool.
Which is closer..that will be seen one day.

I decided that it was time for me to break free from being possesed by evil intentions.Along with that,the hair that hid my eyes from the world shall begone too.I want to leave that behind and show my eyes to the world.Those eyes..determined to study,determined to dance,determined to love,determined to trust and determined to believe.I dun wanna hide behind them anymore.

Hence the change of the background of this blog.I've once again found the Light and learned to embrace it again with trust..

I will give them my trust again and continue down the path I took.I wan2 gain the naivety that I had back when I still blieved in the Light.I refused to be poison by other emotions.Im ready to continue marching on to realise my goal.

Guide me well,and may I grasp hold of u when Im lost in darkness again.
Meanwhile..stay in my memories,never to awaken anymore.

Till then,
Micky