*Epilogue*
===========================I'm not gonna mention specifically what happened last Sunday
Instead...Im gonna touch on the abstract of it.
The lessons learned..
The Light found at the end of this big abyss..
And most importantly....
The Lust for Power,to be recognised and acknowledged as strong...
and how this will can bend any friendship despite the strength our bonds hold us together..
==========================
*A common dream*
We had this talk before then.To pursue a common goal.To fight and show the best in each of us.
We dreamt of climbing the stairs towards recognition.Somehow,God gave man the voice and power to steer the hearts of others.When the voice is right and time is ripe,men like us now will stand on our 2 feet and begin challenging Fate itself.
One person's dream spread like wild fire and burnt with bravery among the hearts of these 8 boys.We too dream and it begin to take shape...our plan to be among top notch.
*The planning phase and initial doubts*
We met up at someone's hse to plan our strategy and concept.At the same time,one decided to question commitment once we've decided to pick up this fight.This one person would later question the urge to prove ourselves infront of others.He would continue to ask and think deeply...
We had this talk before then.To pursue a common goal.To fight and show the best in each of us.
We dreamt of climbing the stairs towards recognition.Somehow,God gave man the voice and power to steer the hearts of others.When the voice is right and time is ripe,men like us now will stand on our 2 feet and begin challenging Fate itself.
One person's dream spread like wild fire and burnt with bravery among the hearts of these 8 boys.We too dream and it begin to take shape...our plan to be among top notch.
*The planning phase and initial doubts*
We met up at someone's hse to plan our strategy and concept.At the same time,one decided to question commitment once we've decided to pick up this fight.This one person would later question the urge to prove ourselves infront of others.He would continue to ask and think deeply...
Why do we need to be accepted as "skillful" by others?
Why can't we continue to do what we do.
Why are we easily stirred by comments made by others?
Why do we dream like that upon hearing comments from others that stimulate our mind to fight?
The day ended with us deciding to fight on.And that one boy who thought most about ideals and dreams was left to ponder whether his inner conscious is right..
*The initiation*
We begin physical planning.Outfits were done too.However one was too busy.Don't get me wrong,his other commitments were much more important.The boy once again reflects upon the meeting at the hse.For the words commitment have been swore upon.However he now doubts others.For the guy responsible did not turn up for practice.And slowly...this boy begun to wonder if dreams were meant to be dreams..
He raged for the fact that this person ignited everyone's passion to fight.Yet...he wasnt there when we neeeded him the most.He left us his dreams..and continued on to live his life.We were abandoned with the burdern to carry his dreams along side our own dreams on our back..
*Reflections upon the final hour*
Hours before the battle,the very same boy who wondered reflected back on his thoughts..
Why prove to be the best? Why sought to be recognised? Why do we seek other's recognition then are we satisfied?
And then he thought about the commitment he saw earlier...and how things were last minute.
Despite excuses saying its our tradition..I despised that fact.I hated it.I got angry with the fact that an event and dream this important received a last minute treatment.Why would u talk about dreams and being Number 1 when ur attitude is like this?!
It was bcuz words said thru the lust to be recognised penetrated the hard cold reality of life.For ur attitude and commitment did not match ur dream and mindset,I was angry at u.And u pushed the responsibilty to me too.I was angry when U asked me to perform stunts as if they come easy for me.I hated it and didnt want to do it.But was steered by ur will and pushed myself.I practiced in the middle of the night alone,amidst yelling by my parents cursing me crazy and obsessed.I practiced under the Sun all day while God witnessed my commitment.
And I aimed high depsite being injured at the back and leg.It was so painful I clenched my teeth and bit my lips walking.And yet I hate it when u neglected that feeling...
"My feelings for this frenship and concern for one another...was torn apart by this dream.This lust..this seduction...this goal...this aim....this devil brought about a lot of last minute effort which were unnecessary if we had planning months earlier."
Why can't we continue to do what we do.
Why are we easily stirred by comments made by others?
Why do we dream like that upon hearing comments from others that stimulate our mind to fight?
The day ended with us deciding to fight on.And that one boy who thought most about ideals and dreams was left to ponder whether his inner conscious is right..
*The initiation*
We begin physical planning.Outfits were done too.However one was too busy.Don't get me wrong,his other commitments were much more important.The boy once again reflects upon the meeting at the hse.For the words commitment have been swore upon.However he now doubts others.For the guy responsible did not turn up for practice.And slowly...this boy begun to wonder if dreams were meant to be dreams..
He raged for the fact that this person ignited everyone's passion to fight.Yet...he wasnt there when we neeeded him the most.He left us his dreams..and continued on to live his life.We were abandoned with the burdern to carry his dreams along side our own dreams on our back..
*Reflections upon the final hour*
Hours before the battle,the very same boy who wondered reflected back on his thoughts..
Why prove to be the best? Why sought to be recognised? Why do we seek other's recognition then are we satisfied?
And then he thought about the commitment he saw earlier...and how things were last minute.
Despite excuses saying its our tradition..I despised that fact.I hated it.I got angry with the fact that an event and dream this important received a last minute treatment.Why would u talk about dreams and being Number 1 when ur attitude is like this?!
It was bcuz words said thru the lust to be recognised penetrated the hard cold reality of life.For ur attitude and commitment did not match ur dream and mindset,I was angry at u.And u pushed the responsibilty to me too.I was angry when U asked me to perform stunts as if they come easy for me.I hated it and didnt want to do it.But was steered by ur will and pushed myself.I practiced in the middle of the night alone,amidst yelling by my parents cursing me crazy and obsessed.I practiced under the Sun all day while God witnessed my commitment.
And I aimed high depsite being injured at the back and leg.It was so painful I clenched my teeth and bit my lips walking.And yet I hate it when u neglected that feeling...
"My feelings for this frenship and concern for one another...was torn apart by this dream.This lust..this seduction...this goal...this aim....this devil brought about a lot of last minute effort which were unnecessary if we had planning months earlier."
Though we laughed and played that night...the fact that it ended at 12am was wrong.We were suppose to rest enuf before a fight.Not train till our last breath...this is the wrong approach for I've been in competitions this rough.I know we were meant to fail already..
*The final light...D day*
Before the battle...I forgotten my document.I was doubting the team's effort.For I questioned bout costumes.I felt inferior looking juz at others.1st impression matters and I have stressed that many times.
"SHUT UP!" was the word I heard.I was really heartbroken..coming from my fren whom I have known since late Form 2.He told me that.And was frustrated.I knew it.I was right..
But then I felt pain and wanted to let loose bcuz he was my fren.It hurt more than a knife thru ur skin,peeling the dermis layer bit by bit..
But I clenched my teeth.And held back.Keeping words to myself.Not gonna engage in a verbal argument anymore bcuz it was hours before our big fight infront of everyone.I didnt want to spoil our team spirit after coming this far.
And so it happened.And the messiah who witnessed our fight gave comments.Commitment,effort,planning,and our true nature were all exposed infront of the camera.Shamed and disgraced,we left.
The pain in my leg,the screaming that came from my back all left.Bcuz their comments were so painful,I felt no pain afterwards.Though smilling,we were breaking inside.I felt it a lot sinced I put my dreams,honor,impression and effort at stake.Only to loose the gamble...
But deep in me,I smilled.Call me a bastard.But only thru a harsh lesson did the 8 boys learned.Conquering this arena is not easy.Dun be little others thinking that they are weak.And most importantly,show commitment via ur heart and feelings before setting others ablaze with ur dreams.For we lacked proper preparation,many were let down by this feeling.It was a rough lesson meant to shun his lust aside.And I was juz glad I accompanied him and guided him along the learning process.I joined despite knowing I would loose...not bcuz I believed in a miracle.
But bcuz,I knew his dreams were too big.That lust and desire needs to be extinguished.We arent that good yet and the confidence we had really covered the harsh reality facing us.We arent that good yet! So I decided,rather than turn my back on u guys the night before the fight...I will accompany u and learn this harsh lesson together.
*Aftermath*
I saw 3 people's will inner voice.Mine...his...and his.While lectured about being selfless...I saw his inner voice.Albeit violent than usual,he made some sense but refused to acknowledged that I care for the group.The warnings on costume,prepapration,commitment and my emotions conveyed a message.We arent on the right track!
I felt pain and so did I hear from others.He refused to acknowledge that it was "our" pain.Claiming it was only me suffering from defeat,he continued to batter me on my emotions.I felt them with pride.I hope u understand.
Bcuz I poured effort,time,money,hopes and dreams and energy.I trained till night,suffered from injuries to my back and leg and still walked strongly infront of u all.I dun nid sympathy.I juz hope u realise the reason why I felt sadness.Bcuz Im human...my efforts were drained and I felt it thru my heart.Although it was an experience...I've had nightmares about it on the very same night.
Im staying away from competitions and dreams for now...I dun wanna see our group split bcuz of different idealogies and theories.Split bcuz of different musics and steps.Split bcuz of self ambitions and dreams...desires and lust.Yes...the boy who thought all the while,thinking and questioning was none other than me...
Please...stop this madness...
Till then,
Micky
*The final light...D day*
Before the battle...I forgotten my document.I was doubting the team's effort.For I questioned bout costumes.I felt inferior looking juz at others.1st impression matters and I have stressed that many times.
"SHUT UP!" was the word I heard.I was really heartbroken..coming from my fren whom I have known since late Form 2.He told me that.And was frustrated.I knew it.I was right..
But then I felt pain and wanted to let loose bcuz he was my fren.It hurt more than a knife thru ur skin,peeling the dermis layer bit by bit..
But I clenched my teeth.And held back.Keeping words to myself.Not gonna engage in a verbal argument anymore bcuz it was hours before our big fight infront of everyone.I didnt want to spoil our team spirit after coming this far.
And so it happened.And the messiah who witnessed our fight gave comments.Commitment,effort,planning,and our true nature were all exposed infront of the camera.Shamed and disgraced,we left.
The pain in my leg,the screaming that came from my back all left.Bcuz their comments were so painful,I felt no pain afterwards.Though smilling,we were breaking inside.I felt it a lot sinced I put my dreams,honor,impression and effort at stake.Only to loose the gamble...
But deep in me,I smilled.Call me a bastard.But only thru a harsh lesson did the 8 boys learned.Conquering this arena is not easy.Dun be little others thinking that they are weak.And most importantly,show commitment via ur heart and feelings before setting others ablaze with ur dreams.For we lacked proper preparation,many were let down by this feeling.It was a rough lesson meant to shun his lust aside.And I was juz glad I accompanied him and guided him along the learning process.I joined despite knowing I would loose...not bcuz I believed in a miracle.
But bcuz,I knew his dreams were too big.That lust and desire needs to be extinguished.We arent that good yet and the confidence we had really covered the harsh reality facing us.We arent that good yet! So I decided,rather than turn my back on u guys the night before the fight...I will accompany u and learn this harsh lesson together.
*Aftermath*
I saw 3 people's will inner voice.Mine...his...and his.While lectured about being selfless...I saw his inner voice.Albeit violent than usual,he made some sense but refused to acknowledged that I care for the group.The warnings on costume,prepapration,commitment and my emotions conveyed a message.We arent on the right track!
I felt pain and so did I hear from others.He refused to acknowledge that it was "our" pain.Claiming it was only me suffering from defeat,he continued to batter me on my emotions.I felt them with pride.I hope u understand.
Bcuz I poured effort,time,money,hopes and dreams and energy.I trained till night,suffered from injuries to my back and leg and still walked strongly infront of u all.I dun nid sympathy.I juz hope u realise the reason why I felt sadness.Bcuz Im human...my efforts were drained and I felt it thru my heart.Although it was an experience...I've had nightmares about it on the very same night.
Im staying away from competitions and dreams for now...I dun wanna see our group split bcuz of different idealogies and theories.Split bcuz of different musics and steps.Split bcuz of self ambitions and dreams...desires and lust.Yes...the boy who thought all the while,thinking and questioning was none other than me...
Please...stop this madness...
Till then,
Micky
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