MAD.I.AM

A fork up my arse..

No...someone didn't literally do it..

But rather,it was hypothetically done..

The 1st surprise installed for me on this cold and lonely Tuesday morning (4am) was to get attacked..

No I wasn't playing SanGuo on FB,neither did I got physically attacked..
I received a very mild hate mail..
It was written very hastily,with sharp edges poking out everywhere..and last but not least,it was downright not very nice to read the 1st thing u open ur FB

Before I proceed,lemme sketch out what happen roughly :

So there was a small misunderstanding

That kinda made Person A unhappy
(and God forbid,but I understand why. People have done it to me before)

Person A wasn't happy so he told me he will leave something on FB

And so he did..

I kinda chose to stay out of the way while Person B and Person A 'worked things out between them..'
The rough way. Replying back on forth with CAPSLOCK. Q_Q

I kinda gotten lazy to read the whole scrap
So I posted on my FB something with relevance to Cowboys and guns
(U see..when I saw the way they worked things out on FB,I dun think anything will be solved.
To be honest,Person B is still kinda around the rough edges with whatever that juz happen)

So yeah,I made a reference to Cowboys :
That they shud put down their GUNS (and hatemails) before proceeding to working things out
Besides,who knows what they are capable of in such a rage

So I wrote something like : Put down ur guns before u hurt someone.
(Is that metaphorically wrong? Put down all that hate before u hurt another fren/loved one)

*skips to present*

So 4 days later,I receive the rude msg on FB
It was littered with "I" emphasizing dominance towards 1 sided views
(In this situation in favor of his)
things like : asking me to think in HIS shoes
I ain't
I disagree
I.
I..
and more I...

Not even a IMHO (In my humble opinion)

----------------------

I kinda wondered.. whats gotten into him?
There must be something wrong
So I went to dig around
and found a reply on another fren's shout out
I was the subject of blame now

Now,I rmb myself clearly stating that I WON'T participate in this little charade of rage and anger
It isn't my business,and Im open to LISTEN to ur views and opinion

or,if ur frustrated bout the other person
then I will LISTEN

I dun recall myself mentioning anyone specifically shooting another person/arguing/fighting/etc etc on FB
I never mention names,won't hint/point out who it was

I was kinda surprised when I saw the "I" being used together with another statement
It came out something like this :

"I ain't shooting around like a cowboy for no reason"

wait..WHAT?

The whole context of the paragraph was :
"I dun agree with what u wrote in ur comments. Maybe u got ur own way of thinking,and I got mine.But I ain't shooting around like a cowboy for no reason"

Ok..so I didn't mention who did anything,and he kinda steps up to claim responsible for it

Thats kinda humble of him,I guess..

--------------------

But seriously..

I wasn't all that impress

One thing for sure,I didn't mention anyone 'shooting around like a cowboy' on the comments section
So when I re-read what I posted on another fren's comment section

I found out it was in regards to how a person DEALS WITH ANGER
I wrote,venting it out isnt the only way
U can talk it out.

And then I got quoted and flamed
It started with Dun Agree and it goes on

-------------------

Let me get this straight,

U told me around 10pm that no one replied the mail
SO u felt disappointed

Then I went to sleep at 10+ and u sent me that msg around 11+
What happen in that 1 hr?
What went wrong?

Im not quite sure what happen

But I saw the recent shout outs on fb to be littered with things like :

Disappointed no one wanna solve it
Whats the point going Thailand while ur heart is in Msia trying to resolve something?
*or something close to that*

----------------------

Consider this a little homecoming gift
And I hope it gets straight to the point clearly for u readers out there

1)Theres ntg to resolve. Why so adamant bout trying to solve something that doens't exist?
Just bcuz I keep quiet and chose not to play sides or get involved,doesn't mean I sweep the whole misunderstanding under a rag and forget about it,right?

2)Whats the point travelling when u can't take ur mind off things?
Maybe its best to try and forgive and forget
Not easy to do,but trust me..it eases on the Hypertension a lot
Is it worth screwing a vacation over something that has been resolved?

Frankly I expected a sigh of relieve when u 1st pm me
But instead u were disappointed
Disappointed in the fact that no one replied that little battlefield u created over FB,called MESSAGES
Disappointed that no one wants to work things out
Disappointed that no one wants to resolve it,and speak out

Silence is everything in this situation,bcuz only time will help
Theres ntg to resolve bcuz its already settled among us
With the way ur going,leaving trails of fractured frenship all over the place in the wake of destruction..
I dun think anyone will be comfortable to work it out with u
When u pm'ed me,I kinda tried to talk it out,telling u its ok
Juz done think bout it
It'll be fine

but NOOOO

U came re-butting on what I said
Telling me it ain't over
Telling me theres something else to it

Who's trying to start a fight now?

Worst of all,with ur best fren

--------------------------

I know Im the listener

I know Im the counsellor of distress

I know Im the punching bag

I know its easy to let it out on me

Just,pour all that hate out and let it flow all over me
I know,bcuz after that u tell me u feel better
Ur not the only one doing it..I've taken and tried different rants from different ppl before

I shrug them off with a laugh and a "Why u zha me la?"
Then laugh,
to see u laugh along with me then apologize makes me happy
Bcuz I won my fren back,and he's no longer upset

BUT,there are times (like today),when I feel..

That Im more than a punching bag

Dude,I dunno if ur new to this

But Im UR FREN

Not a Urinal Stand k?

So don't piss ALL OVER ME,
then expect me to have NO EFFECT on what u juz did

Cuz dumping all ur shyt on a fren AIN'T COOL.
Its juz like smoking,it F*CKING AIN'T COOL.PERIOD.

I took in everything u weren't happy about

But all of a sudden,u found urself pointing that blade of distrust towards me

Before I can go "Wha..?!"

U jab it right into me

And

It

Freakin'

Hurts

My

Feelings.

-----------------------

I dun like being quoted and replied to

I certainly,absolutely DO NOT LIKE being quoted from something I DIDN'T write

Juz bcuz there ain't a war to fight anymore

Dun direct ur anger towards me

Bcuz what ur directing is frustration from the unresolved conflict

I can tell

U aren't happy that the issue ain't solved
And then u think we are walking away

Juz sweeping all the problems beneath our carpets and go : "Hey lets go for a drink"

Juz bcuz ur not happy,dun take it out on another individual

I can't really get what kinda of point ur trying to make across

But lemme voice mine out loud and clear

Venting ANGER towards a person regardless of whether he has a rock to pick with u OR NOT..

DOESN'T GIVE 2 DIFFERENT ENDINGS

Its always the same

The person receiving it will never be "UN-Disturbed" or "UN-affected"

Simply bcuz,ur directing ANGER towards him/her
Ur not directing the issue towards him/her
Its juz IM MAD IM MAD IM MAD CAPSLOCK all the way

Not convinced?

I'll give u a point
If u direct the issue,we can talk it out and work towards a resolution right?
There will be always the : WH- questions
Why? WHAT happen? When did it happen? etc

But,
If ur juz QQ'ing all the way,then mad'am..I suggest u keep ur pen1s in ur pants cuz it ain't very nice
If ur gonna throw raw anger
And disagree at every slight sign of comfort another person is giving u,
The one listening probably won't try anymore

Bcuz its redundant,ur mad
Why not let u cooldown?

And thats what everyone here has been trying to do
I know its harsh,but u pushed for this. Everyone here has been waiting for a cooldown,before re-opening 'negotiations' and start talking

Everyone is waiting for a cooldown
Then try and patch it back up

At the rate ur going,its gonna create a big hole between those at conflict
create a rift between ur frens
and create a split of miscommunication between ur loved ones


How do I know?
Cuz I've been doing this nearly all my life
Taking out my anger on others
They used to say My Emo-ness can affect the room atmosphere among my frens

Which is kinda true


Nowadays (after a fight with my girl,I've learned and changed)
I try to re-direct the negative energy

It starts with Why Im Mad?
Sometimes u'd be surprised
Juz ask urself that
I did,and sometimes Im wondering..
Why AM I mad?
This cures,and it works wonders

Next,if things come to worst
Try and re-direct all that dissatisfaction towards the topic on why ur unhappy
if ur not happy bout ur car,then talk bout the car and say why?
Dun say things like "How bout u try to put urself in my shoes,then u'll understand"
Cuz when u say that in a serious tone,its very VERY rude.

----------------------

If u do read this..

I hope u read it with an open heart

No one is taunting u

No one is trying to pick u off on a wrong day

Its juz urself

And that reflection on the mirror..

We kinda prep'ed our selves to work things out
By being quiet

So when u finally do comeback
I hope u also have opened ur heart

And look towards the brighter side of things

That I am here,as ur fren

Before,Now and Always will be

Ur fren.

I listen,
I understand,
And I take in all that nasty feelings u dun like..

But on the larger scale,
WE laugh
WE play together
WE help each other out
WE are always there for each other in a dire time of need..

I hope u can be there for me when I need u someday
(maybe its my turn next to rant to u lol)


k?

I hope so man

no..

I blieve and Im confident that u will come back,whole and restored
I have faith in u

cuz ur my fren,of course.

Btw,if ur still wondering why the Title is MAD.I.AM?
Its cuz its an obvious pun to the name WILL.I.AM

Dun be a MAD.I.AM k?

Be a FRIEND.I.AM

Last but not least~
Btw,I never like to close things up without a proper sorry and a recap
So yeah,being silent doesnt mean Im not saying anything
Saying sorry 1st doesn't mean im the coward for running away
Infact its the other way around,Im the braver one
Bcuz I dare admit Im wronged by apologizing 1st,hoping for u to accept my apology and calm down
Then finally work things out with u
Maybe u dunno me that well,bcuz this is how awesome my brain is
I'll never walk away from a problem,bcuz I cant sleep properly at night without resolving it 1st.

Till then,