Is white pure..?

Before I begin : To my Dear brother..

"If u want to be jealous of me..fight for that right.U only have the rights to hate me when u beat me in studies.When u outshine me in books and when ur results are much better.Otherwise...dun pull me in ur bandwagon anymore.I dun wanna be involved in ur conflicts,for I was always there to listen.Till the day came when u felt I was being too much of a bother.Hate me,be jealous..but do that only when u've surpassed me.Otherwise accept ur fate that Im superior.Accept that I win this fight.Unless u buck up,u'll never leave my shadow that way..u poor ignorant bastard.... Im waiting to welcome ur victory with both hands and accept my defeat with joy.By this,I hope to have triggered ur urge to study and give u an aim to beat.Me...ur own brother.Grow up......"

Its been awhile since I really blogged about my life.Here's the summary : Enrolment for Med in IMU will be in Feb,gotta learn to drive *Im serious* and Im going back to Wushu.

After 2 years hiding,I finally decided to go back to it.My love for it unchanged.However my weapons all have aged with much respect.My spear rusted,and my 2 swords are ntg but brown pins with rough edges.Time to buy new weapons,when I have the time.I decided I couldnt run from the brutal fact that my squad was disband due to corruption within the Wushu Federation.Im gonna stop lying to myself about the fact that Wushu is hopeless in Selangor.I myself have the power to change it,not the other people who play for power and money,neither do I change it for those bastards.I change what Wushu means to me in my life..I can do that.

I decided to pick up fragments of my skill left from the trainee days and incorporate them into my dance as a stunman.Its my personal unique skill which others cant replicate within IX.Hence I decided to preserve this personal trait of mine.Im working on it guys,though it'd probably take time.I definitely cant recall all of my trainings in one day...but I hope to hear them coming back to me one by one.

Along with that change,I decided to cut my hair too..

Why am I so obsessed with leaving my hair long..?
Why am I so deviant in receiving a hair cut?

My hair much to no one's knowledge represents my own spirit.The will of my soul to struggle free from my Dad's shadow.For he hated it when I leave my hair long,I wanted to do it even more.My hair long was a sign of defiance to him...it showed my spirit dying to rebel against him in anyway possible.

But I was engulfed in hate and obsession not long after my return from Australia.I begun to sink deep into a pit full of humans' most unwanted emotions.Greed,Selfishness,Hate,Anger,Obsession and Jealousy circled around me and begun to slither up my head as I drown to determine whats wrong with me.I hate the one person that was a fren to me and was drowning in jealousy.I was angry over an individual who had a hard time telling me the biggest secret hidden.And later on,I became obsessed with the fact that Im correct.

For my hair grew longer,I learned to hide myself behind the long fringes.I watched everything with a vengeful eye from behind the comfort of my front fringe.I became the person I hated the most...someone who schemes and have evil intentions.I liked the comfort I gained when I cover my eyes with hair.No one could see my eyes well and neither could I see the world.I had no interest in the World for I had problems within myself.Doubting people and choosing the right words.

Finally...it ended yday.I found out I had doubted him for no reason.I felt like a fool.
Which is closer..that will be seen one day.

I decided that it was time for me to break free from being possesed by evil intentions.Along with that,the hair that hid my eyes from the world shall begone too.I want to leave that behind and show my eyes to the world.Those eyes..determined to study,determined to dance,determined to love,determined to trust and determined to believe.I dun wanna hide behind them anymore.

Hence the change of the background of this blog.I've once again found the Light and learned to embrace it again with trust..

I will give them my trust again and continue down the path I took.I wan2 gain the naivety that I had back when I still blieved in the Light.I refused to be poison by other emotions.Im ready to continue marching on to realise my goal.

Guide me well,and may I grasp hold of u when Im lost in darkness again.
Meanwhile..stay in my memories,never to awaken anymore.

Till then,
Micky