And the star cried stardust when they saw the moon..

===========================

*Star Tears*

Soaring thru the black sky..
Harsh winds tear through and cry..
Fooling around the clouds,sly..
A beam of light flashed by.

The brightest star standing next to me..
Bright with hopes,heard my plea..
Shone its light on me and flee..
Leaving me lost,to chase thee.

For I and thee,took on the dare..
We held on,something rare..
Gazing past the clouds,as a pair..
Seeing the moon,its glow so fair.

Shadows converge,with that flash
Hopes found,bound to crash
Stardust cried,streaming through the sky
For I fell back to the ground,witness her cry.

======================

That poem was self explanatory..it all happened.Though I went crazy,though I went nuts and angry..though I tried to think about the painful parts,I found myself still coming back to ur circle of thoughts.Maybe Im addicted to talking with u.Maybe ur right,it was fun after all.

And I was being a jerk by telling u that those things were stupid.Im sorry.U were hurt and yet I juz threw it all on u.U not expecting me to respond that way clearly shows ur dissapointed in me comforting u instead of throwing a wet towel in ur face..

Im feeling bad reading back what I wrote.Yes..I do save up convos if it is really important to reflect on myself.Human nature is kinda tweaky at those 'critical moments'.I juz threw away 19 years of humanity learned in one convo that required more comforting than anger.I left my scholarly mind and became savage and selfish...Im sorry...

I really felt the chains pulling the little cranks and hinges in me stop when I heard u cried.I really felt like a donkey,a stop sign flashed for me to think before going on..But I was juz engulfed in the feeling of being betrayed.Bcuz I was betrayed many times.Thus Im more obsessed with loyalty and honesty in important matters compared to others.I dun wan2 be a control freak either..juz simple honesty will do.

Im sorry,not for being a fool giving the box.That was my 1st time doing sumthing like this for another person.Nothing I have ever given in my life came up to a cost of Rm200+.It was made by me and the craft work was done after some planning.Im not regretting it.I was very happy..over the sky and clouds..dancing among the stars when u said it was nice.When I saw the receipts accumulated,I was praying hard u would like it.And it worked..merci.Im not expecting anything back from u actually..but I hoped we traded gifts to make it less awkward.It was better than me giving and it becoming one sided.If we traded gifts,we could grow from there..perhaps..

Im sorry,for hurting ur feelings.For taking those already smashed pieces of ur heart..and crushing it to tiny little atoms amidst being selfish and not thoughtful.Im sorry...

I hope we'll go back to the past.We can..cuz we did promise.But Im trying to struggle over that little slope.Not doubting u anymore,not being too small minded bout anything..but about how we felt when we talked before and now.The feeling of comfort and cheerfulness was gone.Im looking for those times.I hope we can see it more in the future..

Maybe ur too tired of this..maybe ur school life is juz gonna crash thru ur bedroom ceiling..or maybe I juz killed everything in a fit of rage last night...

Im sorry,please.Im really sorry for saying all those harsh words..
U sounding surprised at how much I am angry actually made me think back..


Im really sorry..


Till then,

At a lost of words..