Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Reminiscence

====================================

Heart thumping

Felt like going nuts

Hands shaking

Body shivering

====================================

I finally said it out...
I finally said it ou...
I finally said it o...
I finally said it...
I finally said i...
I finally said...
I finally sai...
I finally sa...
I finally s...
I finally ...
I finally s...
I finally sa...
I finally sai...
I finally said...
I finally said i...
I finally said it...
I finally said it o...
I finally said it ou...
I finally said it out...
=================================

4 yrs....

Of foolishness

And now,the puzzle is completed,I know

But...Im waiting.

I dun give a fck bout that,Im here...waiting

=================================

In heaven's pride that ray will blind,
A stream of light is to shine
In the darkness thy see that path,
I will walk it though they laugh
To take your hand and grasp it hard,
And hug you then to never part
If it is fate that blinded me to thou,
So be it...this heart knows no peace
until I'm with you..


Till then..

U remembered...? U remembered that Kira was my idol back then.And you were my Lacus then...

Monday, April 13, 2009

Phantom pain

You
4 years
Started sweet
Protective and loving
Rings,Keychains,Handphone and letters

You
Started with a hug
Voices,Eyes and Hair
Scent and hand
Thoughts and that braide hairstyle

You
Hurts
Break,broke,broken
Tears
Held on

You
Zombie
Void in me
Occasional anger
New passion dance

You
Prom
Cold,small,hands
Dances
Dress..

You
Can’t see it
Can’t touch it
Can’t hold it
Can’t remove it

You
Comes and goes as it pleases
Extreme pain during those times
Leaves a mark after its done
Hurts when u peel those wounds again

You
Guilty
Sins
I’m Sorry
To U and u and everyone else

You
I wasn’t thinking straight
I wasn’t looking straight
I wasn’t acting normal
I couldn’t cuz it hurt so much

You
U and u were sumthing
To forget
I felt so empty
Used,healed,soul


You
I was selfish
It was me
Me,I,Myself and only My survival
I was greedy to fill that void you left

You
Only to realise after 4 long years
You can’t hide the truth
I’m fooling myself to escape that pain
All those memories

You
I still visited those places
I stood at that tree
I stood at that counter
I stood at that door

You
I still keep that white bear
I still keep each and everyone of ur notes
I still read them every now and then
I still hold on that You will be back

You
But now I’m alright already
The pain is gone
I’m older now and much more ready
So be it…

If fate shines on that path,I will hold you in my arms this time and never let go….
Ever…..hamster

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Me

Mae Yee sent this : Age character calculation

And it says :

Loyal and generous *Hmm.....really?*
Patriotic *Only to IX..lolz*
Active in games and interactions *Kinda..*
Impatient and hasty *Hehe...my gud buddies would noe!!! xD*
Ambitious *Yeap!*
Influential in organizations *Is IX and organization? =_+*
Fun to be with *Really?*
Loves to socialize *A little la..now change d ma in Australia*
Loves praises *Yeap!*
Loves attention *Agree,especially on stage!*
Loves to be loved *YEAP..*
Honest and trustworthy *Hehe..can be la sumtimes*
Not pretending *Most of the time...*
Short tempered *Definitely..Brian would know ^-^*
Changing personality *Emo 1 hour,then happy the next hour*
Not egoistic *Haha..rendah diri lor..*
Takes high pride in oneself *Honor!*
Hates restrictions *No horse likes a rope around their neck
when they run =) *
Loves to joke *True..*
Good sense of humor *Not really..*
Logic *Equals ZERO...trust me...mine is at a low level*

Till then

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

쏘리, 쏘리

Well my net died and it has been 2 weeks now.zzzZ Landlord said things will be good by 10th aka 2moro.Hope I get my net back,it feels kinda quiet and lonely without the net.I need my social life back!!!! >_<

Being alone in the room really makes ur mind wonder.I just felt
lonely as usual and started dancing to Mirotic and stuff.Did some work outs and push ups juz so that I wont look at IX or my family photo album.If I do I would most likely cry a river out.Haha..Though I chatted with Wei Jian over the past 2 days,it felt like I haven't seen him for 20 yrs.That feeling..its really hard to describe.Feels like a knife running through ur heart when flashbacks come into ur head.

I juz try to keep focus by reminding myself that soon I will be in the plane and in the blink of an eye I would be back home hugging my parents.Im gonna ace those
shit exams and kick those "maggots" ass.Here's to doing my best and going on a killing spree with my Anatomy,Physics and Human Bio text books during the 10 day holidays. *Fighting!!*

Guys...wait for me....Im on my way back home now....just wait.

_______________________________________

Super Junior's latest song
(쏘리, 쏘리) aka Sorry,Sorry really caught my attention recently.I've been listening to it for the past 1 mth but the dance just gave me a new purpose in the dance world.I decided to learn the steps *at least some of it* and I already manage to go thru the chorus so far.hehe..hope I can carry some skills back to Msia.^^

The lyrics are kinda meaningful and it does in a way relate to life..
*Perhaps mine..*

Translation :

Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry I I I first For you for you for you I fell fell fell fallen baby Shawty Shawty Shawty Shawty Eyes are blinding blinding blinding Breathe is stifled stifled stifled I’m going crazy crazy baby

[Siwon] Inside the glaze that stares back at me
Inside the glaze it’s as if I’m
As if I’m a guy bewitched by something
I can’t even escape it now

[Kyuhyun] The way you look when you walk over
The way you look it’s as if
You came and stepped on my heart on the way
I can’t even escape it now

[Ryeowook] Wherever you go you confidently
Smile, your attractiveness

[Sungmin] A rare beauty and a good girl
Universally thought of

[Ryeowook] Proudly, without stopping
You’re really like a fantasy

[Sungmin] So much that people can’t change their mind about it
I’ve fallen for you

Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry I I I first For you for you for you I fell fell fell fallen baby Shawty Shawty Shawty Shawty Eyes are blinding blinding blinding Breathe is stifled stifled stifled I’m going crazy crazy baby

Ddanddan ddanddada dda ddaranddan
Ddanddan ddanddada dda
I’ve fallen baby
Ddanddan ddanddada dda ddaranddan
Ddanddan ddanddada dda ddarabbabbara

[Donghae] Hey girl gir gir gir gir gir girl i
When I open my eyes I think of you Hey girl
Asleep or awake, the truth is I can only see you

[Kangin] Tell me in your heart I
Tell me did I get a spot
Tell me tell me please
I’m stupid stupid stupid

[Ryeowook] People in my surroundings tell me
I’m too aggressive

[Eunhyuk] In this world that sort of person
Not as though there are only one or two of them

[Ryeowook] You don’t know you don’t know her
Words that they say in jealousy

[Eunhyuk] If you’re jealous of me
Then they are going to lose

Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry I I I first For you for you for you I fell fell fell fallen baby Shawty Shawty Shawty Shawty Eyes are blinding blinding blinding Breathe is stifled stifled stifled I’m going crazy crazy baby

Ddanddan ddanddada dda ddaranddan
Ddanddan ddanddada dda
I’ve fallen baby
Ddanddan ddanddada dda ddaranddan
Ddanddan ddanddada dda ddarabbabbara

Let’s dance dance dance dance
Let’s dance dance dance dance
Let’s dance dance dance dance
dance dance

[Yesung] Hey will you come to me now
I feel like going to really go crazy yeah

[Kyuhyun] I want to only love you
I will never think of looking at anyone else hey

[Eeteuk] Rather than a lover, a friend
Is what I’d rather like to be

All of your thoughts and sadness
I want to keep

[Eeteuk] As if as if you might not exist
I love you so much
The person that I expect is you
that that that girl

Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry I I I first For you for you for you I fell fell fell fallen baby Shawty Shawty Shawty Shawty Eyes are blinding blinding blinding Breathe is stifled stifled stifled I’m going crazy crazy baby

____________________________________________________

Dream performance at Malam Bakat...

It has been quite some time since I last stepped off a stage once I finished performing a dance with IX.I really hope *And pray* that Mlm Bakat will be held somewhere between June 28th to July 26th during my sem break.Please God...just give me one shot at performing Mirotic with IX.I will gladly do anything in return for this wish...just give me 1 more chance to stand on stage and feel the atmosphere of performing with the crowd cheering.Really miss those days.

My hair is kinda long now and it's costly just to get a hair cut.Thing Im gonna leave it long.Haha..I think cuz me and IX are already 19,we can do whatever we want with our hair so we might outshine the other Highschool dance groups.Hoho!!!! ^^ Imagine all of us with wild hairstyles while the rest of them had to go along with short cuts. XD I will do my best and give a 110% performance if I ever get a chance to do one in Mlm Bakat this yr.Hehe...IX can also do like what we planned during 2007.Pierce our ears.Imagine all the discpline teachers face! WOOT!! GG la..

We would look sumthing similiar to Lee Sung Min.Outrageous hairstyle + Earrings just to send our ex-teachers blood pressure sky rocketing.*Especially Pn Zubaidah* Hohoho ^_^




Till then,once this battle ends...I will return.

From FF VII Crisis Core : Though the moro lays barren without promises...nothing shall forestall my return

Monday, April 6, 2009

Addiction and Dopamine

I read bout Dopamine as it was inside the HUBS-1401 Human Bioscience course.Interesting..

This here is mine :

SE7EN

I KNOW

God save me...besides Nobody,this song kept hogging my skull.

Tagged by Boss *Rawr*

Personal Detail Questions.

1)Whats your name?
Neoh Ping Sern *zzZZ*

2)If you could change your name what would it be.
Micky

3)What is your age?
Turning 19 in 8 months time

4)What is the age your waiting for to come?
21 when I can finally go back to home and join dance competitions in Msia ^^

5)Whats your address?
No way man...not telling xD

6)If you can stay anywhere, where would you stay?
Korea or Msia

7)When was the last time you cried?
Er...last Monday when I heard my mum's voice?

8)When did you have the best sleepover?
Somewhere during mid Feb in Kai Xi's hse. XD

9)What was the last song you heard?
I Know,by Se7en

10)When was the most dramatic and sad crying moment you've ever had?
How bout the answer : None of ur business?

11)When was the last time you said "I Love You" to the guy you love?
I like girls,Im not gay ;)

12)What were your last words for the person you love and now hes gone?
.....

13)When was the last time you hugged someone?
Last Friday before Suzuka went back to Japan.

14)Had any love letters,song dedicated to you,roses,chocolates or other stuff relating to love?
Er...yeap.

15)If you answered yes to question 14 then when was the first time you got it?
When I was 15?

16)Who was the last person you chat with on msn?
My brother.

17)Has a boy ever called you pretty?
Shit wey...no way.That'll be too gay.

18)Has a boy ever liked you before?
Duh,No!!! Who the F@#$ set this questions? =_=

19)Do you actually love your enemies?
I try to...sumtimes it fails to work out.

20)Do you like someone?
At the moment.....hmm...

21)Do you hate your family at times?
No.I never go till the word hate.Only dislikes at times....

22)Are you blessed to be who you are today?
If I were a little taller I would agree.Hehe...But yea,either way its good enough for me. ^^

23)Are you a rule-breaker?
A little at times.Depending on who Im messing with :O

24)Did you cry your self to sleep before?
99.999% of the population have done it at least once.Im one of them. =)

25)Are you Asian?
Black hair,slightly fair with bright red lips and black eyes.What do u think? =_=

26)Are you in love with a movie star?
Does the Wonder Girls count?

27)Are you lesbian?
Im a GUY for Christ sake!!!!

28)Have you ever eaten something rotten and it taste good?
Er...cheese?Is it..? O_o

29)You prefer girls or boys better?
Guys rock man.My buddies had a blast with dance battles and salty talks during the last sleepover.But girls aint too bad.Last week I was kinda occupied interacting with sumone.Was cooler than I expected. ^^

30)Do you think one of your friends will become a beggar when they grow up?
If the World economy collapse,we will all be beggars.Then everyone will be the same so dun worry! Ur not alone!!!!! =)

31)Are you perasan?
Ahem..can be a little bit more sensitive than most people..... @_@

32)Would you rather lick peanut butter of a hobo's foot or lick it of your dog's butt?
How bout none...? Sicko.

33)Would you rather give up your books or your music collection for a month?
I'd give up music for a month.Though I might die without 'em. T_T

34)Would you rather eat the same food for one whole week or eat ants for one whole week?
Ants sound good. Yummy!!!

35)Would you rather stick your head into a trash can or into a river full of trash?
River.I can bath in it unlike the trash can.

36)Would you rather have the same old subject with different teachers or different subjects with the same teacher?
Different subjects is much better.

About Love.

37)Name 3 guys you like as brothers.
Er..hyungs?....Brian,Fang Kai and Wei Jian.

38)Why do you like them as brothers?
Brian-Leader and dance machine.HE taught me a lot.
Fang Kai-Maximum lameness and downright funny!
Wei Jian-Calm cool and collected.He amazes me at times.

39)Name 3 girls you like as sisters
Hmm...Suzuka,Ingrid and Tiffany?

40)Why do you like them as sisters?
Suzuka-Younger than me so we click easily.She's also interested and active in anything including dancing
Ingrid-She's kinda quiet but it'll be cool to have an older sister.
Tiffany-Cute and friendly.She draws too! =O

41)Name 3 teachers you like
Mr John,Ms Cheang and Ms Rachel *Frankly I'd say every Taylors teacher and Mr Colins from Newcastle.*

42)Why do you like them?
Their cool and Mr John is bald! XD

43)Would you cry if the ones on top you mentioned for the boys,girls,teachers died tomorrow.
No...I will only mourn and stand in respect for a day.

44)What is love?
Something that makes u feel sky high.U feel spirited when u see that girl and it makes u feel like buying the moon for her at times just to express ur feelings.

45)When did you found out about love?
1 minute after I was born when my Dad and Mum were overjoyed.

46)Do you hate them sometimes?
What?? Them?? Who the heck is that la??

47)What colour shirt are you wearing now?
Red.

48)What colour is your pants?
Balck but seriously faded.Kinda like grey now..

49)What are you doing?
Using the com in the library cuz my internet was down? zz

50)How do you feel?
Bored and tired.Just had anatomy exams yday.A little sad cuz my Suzuka-chan went back to Japan.

That killed 15 minutes.Thanks boss! Hehehehe.. *Rawrrs*

I tag:
No one..they wouldn't give a damn I guess =_=

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Daylight

The latest thing happening in this country is "Daylight saving".Apparently our time difference between Malaysia and Australia is only 2 hrs instead of 3 hrs.That means our time is some how stretched and we get 1 hour extra.Hmm... =_=

Last Saturday my Japanese hsemates's sisters,Machiko and Suzuka went back to Japan.It was a rather sad farewell and the everyone had a group hug during the farewell dinner.I met a few Malaysian seniors and they were all pursuing Masters in Architecture.Check this out,one of them is 29 yrs old and he is a devoted Buddhist like me! *Gosh!!* Yeah!!! Finally somebody with the same wavelength as me.

When I got up on Saturday morning,Suzuka handed me a small package with little Japanese snacks in it.It also carrried a small cute note and when I read it flashbacks came...

I would normally study on the dining table around 10pm last week as I got a bioscience exam last Friday.She would bring her work out and thats how we started talking.And those "study sessions" would end around 5am.We talked bout everything.I would casually speak in Jap and imitate some of the famous quotes from Gundam characters.Sometimes we fooled around by dancing to Wonder Girl's Nobody and I showed her my dance group which I hold close to me,Ignition-X.And at other times I was serious when we talked bout family and home.

This went on for 1 week and by Thursday I felt that she was part of our "family".I guess it was just easier for me to engage in a conversation with someone that's 17.She too said Im friendly and interesting unlike some of her Jap friends that are either boring or shy to talk to girls.We touched topics like friends and some salty stuff la..But I guess she is the kind Im looking for.She's just about average and a little bright in personality.

On the last night I showed her the stars outside my house and we talked bout the sky.And then a farewell hug just to wrap things up.We traded emails and I promised to sent her sister an Uchiha T-shirt as I was wearing 1 when she came.

Call it infatuation or a small minor crush.But I felt like she was part of this people here and we were a little closer due to the small age gap.It was comfortable when we were speaking.The moment her bags left the house I felt "dead" again and immersed myself in books and anatomy diagrams.Call it a brief period of emo-ness.

She left with a small gift.The memories of my scarf and the dance I taught her,Nobody. ^^

Till then...I decided to work on Mirotic and fine tune some moves.Hope I can make it for Mlm Bakat in my high school.
I will be back online on Friday the 10th. ;)